As expected in any Xbox 360 game, there are the assumed Achievements to be earned, along with Xbox Live play… and that’s about it. Unfortunately for Mass Media, simply putting Tetris on a disc with a few features on hand and an extra word tacked on to the title doesn’t actually make an enjoyable game. Evolution stretches the integrity of a series as to how far it can be stretched before it stops being fun, or even true to the source material. Of course, there are 11 different modes to choose from (including the original marathon game), but they’re not all that far removed from each other. For example, how exactly does a head-to-head or co-op online mode aid in extending the life of a game where it wasn’t fun to play in the beginning? Just because you can put a time limit on a mediocre game doesn’t mean it’s suddenly a blast.

So there’s not much variety to select from. This is all having not mentioned the Xbox 360’s controller feeling a little relaxed for a game like Tetris. Lumines received its share of complaints when it arrived on XBLA, but it still worked. In Tetris Evolution, everything is very awkward, from landing bricks to the speed they move back and forth. And let’s be honest, there isn’t much to nail when it comes to a game like Tetris. The controls ought to be sharp, and it’s got to be fun to play. That’s two objectives. Now, if a developer has trouble doing either of these, then the game is going to feel rushed or as if it’s simply a quick cash-in on the name alone. Take your pick.

And that last split-second available to assimilate your piece to fit just right? It’s here, except that is now lasts for about two entire seconds. THQ obviously requested that the game be accessible to anyone under the sun, but that also took all the fun out of it and adds frustration to the later levels where the sky is practically falling and all you’d like is to just lock down a piece. It’s a very disgruntling change of pace in a spot where planning is of utmost importance, and the game is asking you if you’re sure you want to make this move. There are a few plusses, though, as a guide shows where your piece will land, and a few attack modes, but nothing that I hadn’t seen in (once again) Tetris DS.

The most disappointing aspect of Evolution is what I would expect to actually be the last thing to be let down over. The visual and audio facets lack everything the game should have supplied. The backgrounds can be set to video or a static picture, maybe a slideshow even. You could play as clouds billow in the background, or fly through endless Tetris fields, maybe perhaps that aforementioned slideshow? So now Tetris is played on a screen saver. At least you can still pick a cool avatar, or customize the background to sync up with the music. The handful of available music tracks are tired as well. After the first 30 seconds of music you’ll queue up a custom soundtrack playlist and have saved yourself.

Currently, Tetris DS is arguably the best Tetris Title on the market these days, and possibly of the entire franchise. Surprisingly enough, it’s the same price as Evolution and comes on a portable system that’s cheaper. This is not to scold the 360 for having a copious amount of average games, because it does not for the most part. In fact, it is just a suggestion that there is a much easier and more affordable way to get a Tetris fix without boring yourself to death. For Pete’s sake, the music even sounds tired –in the same way that you may imagine a weary 70 year-old musician at the end of the last show in the nth tour he’s had in the quarter might feel. Tetris Evolution feels like Tetris if it wanted a nap and someone forced it to tap-dance until all the kids left, and then for an extra 15 minutes just in case someone comes back. It may have been a deal if it had been released at six or eight hundred points on XBLA, but it’s not even worth the budget price it sells for at retail. At least some of us still have our original Tetris memories, let’s just hope this isn’t the first run for any newcomers out there.