Paintball is fun (to me at least) because it's a generally, safe, non lethal way of showing you're a bad ass. If you have the proper safety gear, and a general knowledge of what you're doing, Paintball can be a blast to play. In real life.

In games, at least when it comes to Splat Renegade Paintball…not so much.

Here's what Splat does right. Maps. Map layouts specifically. There are quite a few levels that are put together nicely, especially for multiplayer (which is essentially what Splat is all about, whether it be online or off). In particular, there's a level that involves a dilapidated series of buildings that in any other game would be a total riot to play thru. I'd love to see that level be utilized in something like Battlefield 2, or the Halo games. Unfortunately, I've got to put up with it in this.

Splat suffers from completely random AI, drab character models, nearly non-existent sound, and poorly rendered environments. Combine that with a career mode that lacks anything resembling an actual career mode, and some glitchy online multiplayer, and what you have sitting in your hands at the moment is a big pile of gaming crap.

In fact, let me spend a few more seconds on the AI. Say you're in one of the smaller arenas, filled with inflatable structures. You can run straightforward at times, narrowly miss some shots from the other team, and get behind a structure for cover. On your radar you'll notice the other team making a move, and come to realize on the other side of the structure you now have an opponent. You move out cautiously around the edge of the corner, and as soon as you clear it you're instantly popped with a pellet. A bit cheap, but pretty decent on the AI's part, right? Well, lets go back to the beginning of the match.

Instead of being a gung ho Chuck Norris-like bad ass, you decide to play things a bit more cautiously. You stick to the barriers, providing a constant wall between yourself and your enemies. Finally, you work your way to where one of the lone gunmen on the opposite team has camped out. You sneak around behind him, and then pop up. You go to trigger your weapon, thinking you'll only have a second before being noticed, when you realize that this guy is COMPLETELY OBLIVOUS to you even being there. So oblivious, in fact, that you decide to walk right next to him, with no response. But then he moves! Not to attack, however, but to run off to the next barrier, still completely unaware that you were standing right next to him for the past three minutes or so. In disgust, you trigger a point blank shot at his back, which then misses.

And that brings me to another glaring problem in Splat Renegade Paintball. Hit detection is so far off it will borders on ridiculous at times. In the example provided above, I literally had that happen to me dozens of times. Point blank shots, completely missing the target. You're better off to fire as many rapid shots as possible than you are to try and conserve ammo on the field. Random shots will yield more hits than any amount of precision you can drum up. Ever.

I can't even possibly recommend this game to hardcore fans of the Paintball sport. I can't recommend this game to the hardcore FPS guys and gals out there. I can't even recommend this game to hardcore gamers around the world. All I can say is this, avoid Splat Renegade Paintball, and live a much happier and fulfilling life. Trust me.