I won't try to hide the love of The Simpsons buried deep within my soul. I've watched the reruns so many times I can recall a quote from the show to fit almost any situation. I see most things in a "Simpsons-Tainted" light, and I'm convinced that the writers of the show are working under nothing less than divine guidance. The Simpsons Road Rage, however, is a thoroughly mediocre game. Now that I've said it, I fully expect to be struck down where I stand.
Mr. Burns, owner of the town's nuclear power plant, has taken over the bus system and made it unsafe for anyone who wants to avoid glowing in the dark. The citizens of Springfield aren't the type to roll over, so they're using their cars to ferry people around the city. Once they raise a cool $1 million they can buy back the transit system. If you're familiar with any variations of the arcade classic Crazy Taxi, you'll be familiar with The Simpsons Road Rage. Your goal is get your passengers from point A to point B as quickly as possible.
You begin the game with a fair selection of cars and drivers. The whole Simpsons family is available (aside from Maggie), and each has a unique ride. It won't take long for you to figure out that Bart's rocket racer is considerably faster than Marge's Canyonero, but she has a much easier time running over obstacles such as trees, signs and other cars.
Whichever car you choose, cruising around Springfield is probably as close as you'll get to the real thing. The "real thing" being a cheesy, almost exclusively pastel animated TV show. You'll see landmarks and locations lifted respectfully from episodes in the show, as well as the citizens of Springfield waiting around for a ride. More areas in and around town are available as you progress, but you have to choose between more locations or more cars and drivers. Most of the cast is represented, including Snake (in Lil' Bandit), Chief Wiggum (in a patrol car) and Krusty the Clown (in, duh, a clown car).
Occasionally your fare will ask you to avoid collisions or even encourage you to wreak more havoc than necessary. But most of the time you're left to your own conscience when it comes to how you get your passenger to his or her destination. On one level, streaking around town and smashing into everything you see while hearing textbook Simpsons banter is a blast. The lines from the characters are true to form, and many are even original to the game. The physics are appropriately cartoonish, with wild jumps and mass destruction.
No one can complain about this game not being true to the series. That isn't the problem here. The problem is that it's not very good as a game. The actual game play can be mastered in a matter of minutes, so after that it's only a matter of racking up enough money to make the whole thing end. If you average around $5,000 in fares per game, it's going to take you quite a while to get to the million dollar goal. It's hard to imagine anyone with that kind of patience or interest in a game this boring and repetitive. The variety of one-liners is hardly endless. If you don't get a kick out of reruns, you won't enjoy hearing the same wisecracks from those characters in a game, either. The only motivating factor is unlocking new cars and screens so you can hear a different character's jokes or see some different scenery. But there are only a few different areas to drive through and because you get to know every nook and cranny so quickly, that just isn't enough variety.
The other game play options are a weak attempt to keep things interesting. Mission-based and multiplayer versions provide some variety, but it boils down to the same mechanics and goals as the single player. As a mindless add-on, you're given the opportunity to take a "Sunday Drive" around town, just to see the sights. Again, fans of the show may appreciate seeing the whole town laid out. But you'll also see the same exact thing by simply playing the game.
If you enjoy The Simpsons and you enjoy driving like a maniac, you'll enjoy this game, for a while. But the gimmick gets way too old way too fast to be satisfying to even the most rabid fans of the show. If you've got a house full of Simpsons fans and an hour or two to kill, this is a good rental. It'll get some laughs. It doesn't deserve the "Worst Game Ever" moniker, but you won't be sad to see it go back to the store.
