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Quick show of hands: Who among us hasn't fantasized about owning our own trucking company? … … Ok, then. I haven't, either, but the description of Big Mutha Truckers (reviewed on Xbox) promises much of what pleases the geek in me: resource management (in the form of hauling stuff), making money (buying and selling stuff), customization (buying new stuff) and banging up the highway with a big truck (self-explanatory). Ma Jackson owns and operates Big Mutha Truckers in Hick State County. She's finally lookin' to retire so she sets her own kin against each other in a "Trial by Truckin'." Siblings Earl, Rawkus, Bobbie-Sue and Cletus (a textbook slack-jawed yokel) each have 30 days to do as much trucking as they can and bring the loot home to Ma. All four characters are available for play. Whoever makes the most dough gets the company, and probably some mean vittles. There's also a "Mission Mode," which gives you specific tasks to perform, but the game revolves around "Trial by Truckin'."
You'll spend a fair amount of time in the various cities of Hick State County. Each town has a bar, naturally, where you can find tips about which cargo is hot in other cities. You can also flitter away cash on slot machines or step up to the loan shark for a nice, high interest loan if things get tight. The store is where the economics of Big Mutha Truckers kick in. It's where you buy and sell your cargo, which can be anything from peaches to booze. Each commodity has arrows next to it which tell you, flat out, whether the price is good, bad or average. There just isn't much risk involved, and sometimes that's the only difference between a challenge and a chore. The city is also the place to repair, fuel up or customize your rig. Repair and fuel are pretty straightforward, but customization is where you can spend a serious amount of trucker money. Some changes have obvious in-game advantages, like trading in your flat bed for a tanker so you can haul oil or upgrading parts of your truck to go faster, use less fuel, etc. Custom paint jobs and logos may seem frivolous at first, until you realize the cops and bikers will have a harder time figuring out who you are if you keep changing the look of your truck. You can use the available paint jobs and logos or create your own. That leaves only the open road between you and your next destination. Allow me to let you in on a little secret: Driving a truck is not exciting. It's big, slow and pretty hard to maneuver. You can take one of two approaches with your treks between towns. You can go nuts, and in this case that's a relative term, and smash into anything that gets in your way. Most cars don't offer much resistance to your bulk. This method, however, will draw the attetention of police and bikers trying to hijack your load. Evading police is fun, at first, as is running over bikers. They'll even jump onto the truck in an attempt to unhitch your cargo, forcing you to swerve like a madman to shake them loose. But once you've done this once or twice the process loses its luster. The other option is to play it safe. For those of us without a lot of trucking experience this can be an interesting challenge at first. The driving controls have a fair amount of customization options, so it can control like almost any of your favorite racers. But driving a truck is a lot harder and slower, so once you've mastered it (if you choose to) it's not much of a thrill. The driving portions are so uninteresting I began to wish for the option of turning them off and just working the business of buying and trading. There is one nuance to the game that only comes to fruition after a time investment. Notoriety builds up and can be good or bad. Being known as a bad guy can keep the bikers off your back, but it'll bring Johnny Law down on you like thunder. Being a squeeky clean driver will keep you out of the pokey but will also make you a target for every gang. This can kick in relatively early, but only in small ways. The more time that passes, though, the more you'll notice the affects of your past behavior, especially if you've been consistent. But that's not much of a payoff for investing a lot of time in a game. Everything else gets repetitive pretty quickly, which has to be expected from a game based on redneck jokes. In small doses, that's great. I support mean-spirited humor on almost every level. But because the game's two focuses, driving and trading, are so shallow the humor is the only entertainment left. Big Mutha Truckers doesn't break any new ground for redneck humor or driving games, so these are jokes you've heard before.
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