When Kazunori Yamauchi came out with that claim about Tourist Trophy, the new racing sim from Polyphony Digital, reactions were mixed. Long-time fans of the Gran Turismo series, which Tourist Trophy spawned from, hailed it as the next big thing. A mix of optimism and skepticism washed over the rest of the gaming community, unsure of whether or not it would be able to meet the lofty expectations (doubly so in the wake of Gran Turismo’s failure to go online in the fourth iteration) or whether it could match up to the established sim in Climax’s MotoGP series.

On the surface, Tourist Trophy looks much like Gran Turismo 4…understandably so, as it was built on the same engine as GT4. This presents a slight problem in graphic fidelity, however. Visuals look rather lackluster with washed out graphics, jaggy models, and middling textures. To put it nicely, Tourist Trophy looks like a second-wave PS2 game. Seeing screenshots of the game doesn’t do it justice, as almost all captures of it are produced from the in-game Photo Mode which renders a scene and outputs to an image file.

More troubling than the mediocre visuals is the poor implementation of animation and physics, which conspire to ruin the game. Again, the problem of just applying new things to the GT4 engine presents itself. Neither the riders nor bikes feel they have the appropriate amount of weight or velocity. The way the riders and bikes interact feels somewhat off, with movement that is stiff to say the least. Given that, proper understanding of physics could still roll in and save the day, right? Polyphony’s physics model feels backwards for a reason—it is. Bikes pull away from the center of gravity way too often, which goes against traditional physics..

If the game sounds uninviting and a bit unforgiving, don’t worry, that’s because it is. Intuitive gameplay is not something Polyphony excels in, but thankfully neither is fixing old flaws. After a long night of wiping out, I gave the old Gran Turismo standby of running through the grass a try. For those uninitiated, the Gran Turismo series has always had the tragic flaw of being able to drive through grass without fail—essentially cutting corners so sharp you’d be eliminated in a real race. Most races allow you to exploit this flaw, with one in particular that allows you to hit a corner at full speed, hit the wall, and keep going at a speed higher than computer controlled opponents can contend with.

Tourist Trophy’s AI is some of the dumbest in racing today. Adopting a bafflingly small four vehicle (?) field, Tourist Trophy runs your opponents in a pattern as primitive as the original Super Mario Kart. While other franchises have evolved to a mass of intelligent racers who love screwing you out of taking the lead, Polyphony’s predilection is towards a group of speedsters who are only concerned with themselves and keeping a tight racing line. It’s hard to keep interested in a race when the competition is uninterested in you—it feels as if you’re only racing yourself, and not an opponent.

Of course, that’s not to say the concept of overcoming yourself to win isn’t an entirely bad concept in execution. Challenge Mode is an entire set of races dedicated to earning new bikes. To win the bikes, you have to beat them. A head start is given to your opponent, and it’s up to you to catch up. In this, it’s more a lesson of how to perfect your technique, and really worked well for me.

As expected for a Polyphony game, Tourist Trophy finds a strength in the sheer amount of variety. With well over a hundred motorcycles, hundreds of clothing options, and thirty-seven courses, Tourist Trophy has enough content to make any enthusiast happy. Motorcycles both new and old, ranging from scooters to superbikes to dirtbikes, populate the vehicle list.

In the end, it’s hard to recommend Tourist Trophy outside of its fanservice capabilities. It’s too pretentious too ignore, too unforgiving to be intuitive, and too flawed to be truly realistic. Combined with Polyphony’s dismissal of competitive AI (and humans, due to the lack of online), the game lacks any sort of edge. As is, Tourist Trophy feels more like a cash grab than a legitimate contender for the motorcycle gaming market.