When playing Cy Girls, you frequently waste 10 minutes retreating to a point in the game that should have originally told you that you needed an item or pulled a switch. It wouldn’t be so bad if the game broke up the monotony of switches and item finding with fights and innovative ideas, but when you see something new in Cy Girls, it doesn’t last for very long. The developers knew this, and in the end, it is the marketing campaign behind the game that tries to make the game something that it is not. It’s sorta like “Fast paced action, lush graphics, and two hot chicks of your choice.” Slap in a scantily clad dame, or better yet show a shower sequence shot, and the lines of lonely gamers will queue up at your local EB faster than an appearance of Jenna at the Hustler Store. With all that said, is Cy Girls worth purchasing? No. But the game does deserve a rental, and with some more emphasis on keeping the gamer interested instead of “interested” we may have had a decent action title worth telling your friends about. But alas, the game is mediocre at best, and the puzzles are ridiculously monotonous.

Visuals in Cy Girls won’t wow anyone, but the idea and imagination is captured quite well. The obvious point of interest is the ladies themselves. For the picky ones, you do have a choice between a blonde and a brunette. Ice and Aska are at your control and their movements are quite fluid. The diversity between the two is nice as well, with one (Ice) being a gun wielder, and Aska kicking butt with her Katana. Enemies, while there are a lot of them, seem to be palette swaps and numerous characters of the same ilk. (think Storm Troopers) The environments range from the painfully dull, to interestingly unique. The dull comes in the form of most of the game. You’ll wander through the halls of virtual reality, which repeat the same textures and patterns, over and over. Think of a Metal Gear Solid VR missions with a story, and characters not as cool as Snake, and you get the idea. Throughout the game though, you’ll come across some mini-quests that spice up the visuals a bit. The game also comes complete with wonderfully over the top special moves and basically rips off every other action game before it in design. While you won’t find much new to see in Cy Girls, the visuals aren’t bad, just too familiar.

Audio doesn’t fair much better. The fast paced techno/metal soundtrack gets the heart pumping while you mow down your foes. The voice acting stops the heart on a dime. Here my friends are who not to hire when you want spoken dialog for your video games. The actors can’t decide whether to be unemotional, or over the top. There is no in-between and it’s all bad. I’ve actually heard a 2nd grade reading class miss less beats than the actors here. These folks must have come from the same actor’s guild as the famed Resident Evil clan. It is that bad.

The game play is good, but is useless since you spend the majority of your time wandering hallways. When the action is heated, both girls supply some fancy moves and tight game play. The failure comes in the form of the fetch quests you must endure. If you ever thought the trunk idea in Resident Evil was bad, multiply that by a dozen as the levels and backtracking take even longer. Toss in some ridiculously dumb A.I. and you’d think you were facing a suicide squad. These foes are begging to be slain, and of course I was happy to oblige. The game takes around 8 to 10 hours to complete, but honestly, if you cut out the backtracking, you’d have this baby done in a matter of a couple hours. Not my idea of time well spent.

This title was heavily promoted in many magazines and websites, and the outcome was less than good. If you are a fan of getting to the end of a level, only to resort to going back to the beginning to pick up an item or throw a switch, and then finally going back to the end again, this game is right up your alley. There is some great action to be had, it just happens so sparingly it’s not worth the effort of fetching like my golden retriever. If the sales merit a sequel, please Konami; just give us the action next time.